Isn't it absolutely
brilliant that you can pay for your car insurance on a monthly
basis? You might end up paying a little extra, but it's worth it for
the relief of not having to find all the money in one go. But what
if you couldn't pay by instalments? How could you find all that
money in a hurry? Here are some suggestions, in case you want to
ditch convenience in favour of heroic:
• Do a sponsored tap dance from Land's End to John o' Groats.
Remember to factor in the money you'll spend on tap shoes and tap
dance lessons ... and blister cream.
• Launch a one-man - or woman - show and take it to the Edinburgh
Festival. Win a comedy award. Get a regular spot on a satirical
panel-show. Make a DVD.
• Become an MP, build a really impressive duck house - with
balconies and a guest-room - claim for it in your expenses. The only
flaw I can see in this plan is that you might need to buy a duck to
make it look convincing.
• Become an overnight internet sensation and sell advertising space
on your website. This might only work if you're a kitten, an
amusingly clumsy skateboarder, a baby who can moonwalk or somebody
who shouts at people on buses.
• Win the Turner Prize. It looks easy. Pickle a cow. Don't make your
bed for a year. Film your own foot. These are all possible winning
entries! The prize money is £25,000 so you can buy a car and insure
it for that. You could even pay for tap dance lessons.
• Become a pizza delivery driver at night. Oh no! You can't do that
because your car isn't insured yet is it?
Before you rush off and start nailing bottle-tops to the soles of
your shoes or writing your three-act play about trying to buy
sausages, just consider how much easier it would be to fill in a
monthly direct debit form. No blisters, no need to buy 20 gallons of
formaldehyde and no reason to start shouting at people on buses.
Paying monthly just makes a bit more sense.
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